Rob-isms

The AWESOME-NESS of a 5-year-old boy names Rob: 

1.
ROB: "Mama, can you fix the TV?" 
ME: "What wrong with it?" 
ROB: "It's all fire dogs." 
ME: "What?"
ROB: "Mom. It. Is. All. Fire. Dogs." (he says in his uber condescending 5 year old voice)

I walk in & see this: 

Get it? Black & White spots like dalmatians. 

2.
ROB: "I wish we were rich, mom." 
ME: "Why is that, buddy?" 
ROB: "So all the robbers would look at us & go, 'WHAT?!?'."
ME: "Really?" 
ROB: "Yeah, & then they would write 'S's on their eyes." 
ME:  ***stares blankly***
ROB:  ***stares back at me***

ME: "Oh, like $ on their eyes."

3.
ROB: "Hey, mom do you see this?"
He shows me this (a slinky with Egyptian figures hanging at the end) :

 ROB: "Is it a 'Slinky Ride' OR is it a 'Spiral to the Past'?"  
(Okay, so this one you'd kind of have to hear his voice. But the term "Spiral to the Past" was said in an ominous voice & if you think about how they visually show people traveling to the past it's like they travel through a spiral tube, so I TOTALLY get where he's going with this one.)

4.
ME: "Rob, please go brush your teeth." 
ROB: "But I don't wanna."
ME: "What? Why?"
ROB: "Because I want them to get yellow so I can look like a pirate."
Umm... ewww....


5. 
Here's from his "All About Me" notebook:

When he grows up he wants big muscle-y arms so he can be a wrestler. Which is apparently his profession of choice this week. Just look at those meaty shoulders.