Sunday, November 4, 2012


I had Lincoln drooling all over my shoulder as I herd Syd & Rob into the sliding glass doors of the grocery store.

"Can we get a car cart, Mama?" Rob asks and I oblige. Lugging that huge thing up and down the aisles is a small price to pay to keep those kiddos contained.

Rob hops in as I strap a squirming Linc to the front baby seat. I look over and see Sydney hovering one foot moving to sit in the car next to her brother, the other planted firmly on the floor.

Syd looks up and our eyes lock. And I can see it in her eyes. Indecision.

"Mama?" She asks. "Do I have to sit in the car?" She sets the foot that was headed into the little car down, placing it securely next to the one on the ground. She walks over to me, her head bowed. "I'm not a little kid anymore." she whispers so Rob can't hear.

"Okay, honey," I say, inexplicably blinking back tears. And so she held onto the side of the car cart while we grocery shopped.

But still she swore she'd be good for a kiddie sized ice cream cone. Still begged to wait & watch the "rainstorm" that falls over the fresh veggies every 5 minutes. Still whistled "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" as we wandered in the cereal aisle. She IS still a little kid. 

When I went to sleep that night, I could still see her there, one foot hovering in the magical world of "little kid" and while the other is  planted into the land of "big kid".

That's where she is right now. Hovering between the two. It's both terrifying and thrilling to watch your baby growing up. Scary and awe inspiring to watch her change and become.

I'm lucky to have a girl like Sydney. A grounded, old soul, who loves deeply and completely and understands that it's okay to be both a big kid and a little kid at the same time.


lindsey said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have had a few moments like that with lily in school this year. the first included her accidentally being put on the bus when I was picking her up from school... when I finally got her I was in tears and she was happy as could be to ride the bus and asked to do it again. That almost made me cry again... my baby can't be old enough to ride the bus! at the same time I really enjoy the relationship we've developed as she has gained some independence and maturity.

Treble Clef ♪ said...

Lovely. Yes, it does go by so very fast.

Ashley said...

I love that Rae wants all the responsibilities of a big kid - but still plays with dolls and stuffed animals, watches cartoons and doesn't give a darn cool clothes or styles :) She did just admit to a crush at school and that makes my heart skip a beat with worry :)

Ashley said...

Oh, and she would sit in one of those car carts if she still fit!

Em and Russ said...

And I was just thinking about how quickly Mirian is growing up, and that makes me sad that she will be telling me the same thing one day. (She actually tells me that on a daily basis, but I don't believe her).

Smithy said...

hahaha that's how I felt when S wanted to sit in the car cart. I thought, "my baby is turning into a little kid!"

April Carter said...

Please don't grow up too fast. Old lasts much longer than young!

Katie said...

:o) Love this.

Kristal said...

What a sweet little girl... she is getting so old! It's crazy. I showed Matt the kids Newport shirts the other day, and he was like 'is that was size she is? She's getting so big!'

She is pretty mature too, I mean, oldest girls gotta be with those hooligan brothers :)