Sunday, November 4, 2012
"Can we get a car cart, Mama?" Rob asks and I oblige. Lugging that huge thing up and down the aisles is a small price to pay to keep those kiddos contained.
Rob hops in as I strap a squirming Linc to the front baby seat. I look over and see Sydney hovering one foot moving to sit in the car next to her brother, the other planted firmly on the floor.
Syd looks up and our eyes lock. And I can see it in her eyes. Indecision.
"Mama?" She asks. "Do I have to sit in the car?" She sets the foot that was headed into the little car down, placing it securely next to the one on the ground. She walks over to me, her head bowed. "I'm not a little kid anymore." she whispers so Rob can't hear.
"Okay, honey," I say, inexplicably blinking back tears. And so she held onto the side of the car cart while we grocery shopped.
But still she swore she'd be good for a kiddie sized ice cream cone. Still begged to wait & watch the "rainstorm" that falls over the fresh veggies every 5 minutes. Still whistled "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" as we wandered in the cereal aisle. She IS still a little kid.
When I went to sleep that night, I could still see her there, one foot hovering in the magical world of "little kid" and while the other is planted into the land of "big kid".
That's where she is right now. Hovering between the two. It's both terrifying and thrilling to watch your baby growing up. Scary and awe inspiring to watch her change and become.
I'm lucky to have a girl like Sydney. A grounded, old soul, who loves deeply and completely and understands that it's okay to be both a big kid and a little kid at the same time.