Writing While Being a Mama

Writing while being a mama is hard.
Not impossible, friends.
But certainly not easy.

My moments of writing time have been few & far between so the other morning I woke up early to have time to write before everyone woke up.

So, there I am fingers flying. Feeling confident. Loving what I'm writing. Then "BAM!" the screen goes blank. And I lost the last two pages I wrote.

No problem. I remember what I wrote. I just begin to retype it. Then I hear the "SQUAWK, SQUAWK" of a little Lincoln-Logs waking up & ready to play.

No problem. A few toys & a highchair next to me and I can buy enough time for a couple more paragraphs. In the middle the "CLUNK, CLUNK" of Rob rolling out of bed.

No problem. I'll just pour that sweetie some cereal. Let him wander around with his food while I try to squeak in at least one more paragraph. That's all I'm asking for. One. More. Paragraph. Then in wanders kitty "MEOW, MEOW-ing" for breakfast. Walking over my keyboard. Trying to drink the milk out of Rob's cereal.

And there my muse flys out the window. Done trying to get me to focus on the craft when I've got too many people in need of Mama's Affection.

It's hard. It's frustrating sometimes. But the best part is, there is always tomorrow to sit my butt down & try again. 

Summer Solstice Party

My writer group girls & I were sitting at writing group last week, talking out some hard life stuff & we realized that the next writing group fell onto the Summer Solstice. Since we were all in need of some rejuvenation we thought we'd throw ourselves a little party.

I know, a party for yourselves? Let me just say, it was spectacular, silly, life affirming, relaxing, & I'm a happier person because of it.

I have no idea how all the pieces fell into place- everyone kind of tossing out ideas for what people should do to celebrate the longest day of the year. We all agreed on white dresses, flower crowns, & light tasty treats. We were hosted & joined by the lovely Brook- a fabulous person & friend of many writers (& she has a blog that you really must read).

And it all came together beautifully- Behold our SUMMER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION:

I had nothing to do with the fabulous decorations- that was all Rachel & Brook. Didn't they turn out lovely? The hanging tea lights, the book pages, & all that lovely muslin to tent us in.

We had fresh fruit, local raw honey, fresh-made bread, & Greek Gods honey yogurt (this stuff is like ice cream it tastes so good).

I was in charge of the flower crowns & let me just say they were a joy to make & even more so to wear. Seriously, you're feeling down, low on energy, lack luster? Bust out a flower crown. Life will be better because of it.

As a gift for these fine ladies, I also designed & made these fans for us- on one side there is a map of the summer night sky & on the other a quote from Galieo (I can't confirm that fact except with the internet so no promises he actually said it).

It was terribly eccentric & so much fun. We decided that sometimes it's nice to just let your "freak flag fly". We spent most of the time talking about writing, about womanhood, about trials, about wishes & about food.

We had a million activities planned & really only got to a couple of them (making essential oil salt scrubs & relaxing lavender eye pillows), but we vowed to get together at some other witchy, interesting time (super moon or something) to do the things we didn't have time to (henna tattoos & sparklers).

I am endlessly grateful for good friends, warm nights, a husband who lets me be a tad eccentric & watches the kiddos into the wee hours of the night, also for remembrance that life is good.

P.S. The lovely Brooks lovely post about our lovely night is on her lovely blog!

P.S.S. Here's a tutorial on how I made the flower crowns & fans.

WEEK 4: Writing

Sorry, this is SO LATE, but it took a while for me to compose all my thoughts & get it all typed up. So, behold Week 4:

If I'm being honest I haven't been great at writing since my mom passed away. I make all sorts of excuses for why- It's grief. It's punishment. I shut down that part of my brain to deal. And there have been a couple spurts of writing energy- finishing my first novel, my fantastic writing class with Holly Black, & my "author" interview. But it's been slow & coming for a long time now.

GOAL: So, for my week 4 goal I decided to get my writing mojo back & make a plan/schedule for writing. Also it's a chance to reassess what does & doesn't work for me when it comes to writing.

1. TWITTER: What may seem like a "time-waster" is actually one of my most inspiring helpful parts of the internet. I follow all sorts of authors & something about reading about their writing struggles makes me feel better. Also, lots of authors start "word wars" or "2k a day" spurts of writing. This sums up why I love twitter:

2. REINFORCEMENT: I sure do well with positive reinforcement- Scott & chocolate- but maybe it's time to have some negative consequences. Maybe I'll just give Scott a little teaser to zap me with whenever I stop writing? Okay, maybe not. But I did make this handy reminder for my desktop:

3. WRITING GROUP: Ah me, I could write for miles & miles on how much I love my writer group girls. They are not only amazing writers (you guys, I am not even joking they are jaw-dropping great writers) but they are there for me (little ol' me- not jaw-dropping writer) at all hours day or night. If you want to write, get ye a writing group that rocks.

4. SCHEDULE TIME: Sometimes it doesn't work for me to schedule an exact time to write, in general I don't do great with schedules, but to have a general goal. This week, now that the kids aren't in school I don't have to get everyone going first thing in the morning, I've been trying to write in the morning. My brain is a whole lot less full in the AM.

5. MUSIC: Ah me, music, I could not write without you. Here's a mini playlist from the beginning of the story I'm working on right now- it will be added upon 100 fold so feel free to recommend other music too:

6. PINTEREST:
I have a writing inspiration board & it's been awesome to use to to help out with writing ideas- quotes, setting pictures, characters, etc. My writer group girls do this too & I love reading their work, then seeing their pinterest boards to see how the envision the characters or setting.

CONCLUSION: It hasn't been as instantaneous inspiration as I thought it would be. But it's slowly coming. I finally settled on what I want to work on right now- something new-ish, not revising my last novel. I really need to remember how much I love writing, not get bogged down just yet with revising.

I'd say wish me luck, but I'm trying to remember that I make my own darn luck- this is a lovely necklace from a friend that reminds me of exactly that:

P.S. My past weekly goals- Week 1, Week2, & Week 3

A sacrifice that is no sacrifice at all...

My writer group girls are in New York City as we speak. BEA (Book Expo of America) is going on & they packed up to go meet some fabulous authors, sight see, & generally get inspired about writing.

I, however, am not there with them.

Instead I am hanging out with this handsome fellow.

At first, I was pretty selfishly bummed. Had this been a year ago, I could have gone. If this was a year from now, I could have gone. But because I am nursing a new little baby, I really couldn't swing it.

But then I came to this realization...
... if I had to miss such an awesome, once in a lifetime trip...
... this would be the reason to miss it.

Tell me this kid doesn't just melt your heart. He definitely turns me to jelly.

Thanks to my ladies for updates, pictures, & even inspirational Instagrams meant just for me.

Writer's Retreat

(Debbie, Rachel, Meagan, me- & yes I look like awful, I'm super sick right now)

I can not sing the lauds of my Writer Group Girls enough! These ladies bring sanity to madness and happiness to my wild writer heart.

I was able to spend last night in a hotel in Park City writing into the wee hours, sleeping in, & writing more in the morning. I feel a rejuvenation for the craft, which has been waning since I got pregnant, just in time for NaNoWriMo next month with a brand new story.

"You just have to fight"

This video is not just for writers, but anyone involved in any creative endeavor.

I pretty much think that Ira Glass is genius, so this video with his inspiring/go-get-em words only solidifies that belief.

Check it:

"The Laughing Heart"

I saw this Levi's commercial on Hulu the other day & was ecstatic that it had one of my favorite American poems in it. It's only a minute long & so lovely- enjoy:

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

-Charles Bukowski

Angsty Middle School Poetry

NOTE: If you cringe at other peoples embarrassment I'd skip this blog post 'cause it's gonna get all sorts of embarrassing up in here!

A couple weeks ago my dad sent me this...

Does it look familiar? Possibly a little like your own awkward middle school angsty poetry notebook?

And just for you, my lovely friends, I'm putting my agonizing, artless, a little annoying authorship out there for all of you to enjoy. Just consider it a gift for sticking with me through my lack of blogging lately.

Without further ado, behold the greatness:

If I had the time & you guys had the interest I could break these down piece by piece and mock every line, every choice of word, but I'll let you guys do that on your own!

My favorites would be this one about my middle school- ack, it just makes me cringe. And this one (out of like 80 "hate poems") that I think is supposed to be a "love poem".

Let's all thank our lucky stars that I didn't become a poet or it'd grim for us all.

Anyone else as angst ridden as I was in middle school?
Did you take it out, like me, on your poor little notebook?

WIYFR in review

You guys, I can not even express how grateful I am for WIFYR (Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers). I learned more in one week than I have in probably all my years of writing.

I signed up for a morning class with the talented writer Holly Black & after meeting her I've decided I pretty much want to be her when I grow up. She is an honest critique-r who softens the blow with jokes & her own self deprecating humor.

Also, I was incredibly lucky to have a awesome group of ladies, both in writing & personality, in my class. The critique I received from each of them is invaluable. I have a lot to change but my manuscript will be all the better for it.

(two lovely ladies in my group with blogs: Rachel & Celesta)

Holly's comments were spot on, every time she mentioned aspect of mine or someone else pages I wanted to shout "AMEN!" She was SO right about the things that I need to work on & I'm excited to say I even earned a couple smiley faces from her.

After our morning critiquing, we had small "break out" classes about a myriad of subjects & at the end of the week there was a book singing (there may or may not be a giveaway soon!).

It was amazing, please any writers out there, come to this with me next year. It was awesome!