How Boys and Girls play together

I know I've blogged about this before, but I love what Syd and Rob come up with to satisfy both Syd's girlie-ness and Rob's boyish-ness when they play together (see here and here). Syd typically wins out when they play together, but Rob frequently gets his dude-ness in just the same (see here, here, & here).

When I went into Sydney's room to put away clothes this morning I ran into this in front of her closet: 

Oh. My. Heck. That is in fact her "Girlfriends Vet Set" Lego ladies dancing with Rob's "Monster Fighter" Lego, apparently having a dance party.  Those kids bring me an immense amount of joy & giggles throughout the day.

P.S. And, by golly, because it my most favorite video of Rob & Syd playing together check out this post!

Mad Mom

So, if you were all wondering how batty I've been lately, let me share this lovely picture Rob drew of the whole family in the car:

Yup, that's Scott smiling at the wheel. The kids are content in the backseat. Even Linc is happy in his carseat back there. And in the middle is lovely, crazy, angry-looking, bright colored Mom.

My poor kiddos. I'm going to spend this Thanksgiving break making it up to them with all manner of calm fun and relaxed time spent together. Suggestions are welcome.

A glimpse into our afternoon

It's a glamorous life I lead & I thought I'd share a bit of what our afternoons look like.

Rob draws, I'm sorry but I just have to say it, A-FREAKING-MAZING pictures of monsters. He has hundreds of them, plastered everywhere & in every notebook I own.

Syd does her homework, some of which is in Portuguese, which blows my mind. And I'm sorry, but I have to say it, she's a genius.

And Linc chills. Looking cute & chewing on some apple. And again, I'm sorry, but that kid is the cutest ever. Even in PJ's in the middle of the day because of a poop blow-out (remember I lead a glamorous life up in here). 

  It's a quiet kind of joy that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Start your week off right!

 A couple smiley fellows to start off your week right:

I had a semi-rough week last week & I have every intention of having an excellent week starting today.

So when poopy diaper explosions, volatile temper tantrums, writers block, excessive whining, piles laundry, dinner burnt to a crisp, OR the crazy amount of sewing/dying/painting I have to do to get Halloween costumes ready try to get me down I'm coming back to this jolly picture & I'm going to remember it's all worth it.

Domestic Bliss

To get our children to go to sleep & stay in bed we have a careful order of set rituals.

Rob is usually hungry. Yet again. So, he eats a "before bed snack". Usually part of dinner that he didn't finish.

Syd reads. She gets to pick out one library book from her school library all on her own. She takes this task extremely seriously & has so far come home with a book about not cheating, one about gems & minerals, and this one about chemistry. She's a pragmatic one for sure.

Rob has been working on identifying letters & sounds. He's been doing really well. I hesitate to "flashcard" my children. Syd never did great that way but Rob has been flourishing since we started. Yet another example of how each kid is an individual.

I snuggle Linc up, enjoying his deep snorty breaths, & nearly fall asleep myself.

And then....
After all that work...
When we come up to bed...
We find this:

Both kids.
Snuck out of their bed.
Slipped into our bedroom, where Linc sleeps.
And fell asleep all together.

How I Grew to Hate a Bottle OR A Very Long Post on Nursing

Linc drinks from a bottle. There I said it out loud. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. So, I admit it. He drinks from a bottle.

And I hate it.

It started at around 4 months. Linc wasn't sleeping through the night, he was cranky after every feeding, & generally very unhappy. Now this wasn't my first baby rodeo so I knew to give it some time. Not stress out. Not run to the doctor at the slightest worry. So, I did give it time. Did some research. Asked some other mamas I trust. I started eliminating things from my diet to see if something I was eating bugged his tummy & after about a month of this, Linc was waking up nearly every hour in the night.

I finally took him to the doctor. He'd dropped from 76% in weight to 8%. "I think it's a problem with your milk supply." he suggested. ''But I nurse him constantly. Shouldn't it just regulate to what he needs." I held back the tears welling up (mama's not sleeping are scary creatures). He smiled as if he could read my mind, "Usually it does. But it doesn't look like its happening right now."

I had successfully nursed a HUGE child, Rob, for a solid year & I knew I could do it this time too. So, I went home & tried a holistic approach. Linc & I stayed in bed for nearly 3 days straight. I rested, took Fenugreek, drank a Mother Milk herb tea, nursed him all day long, & had lots of skin to skin time.

I tried the more medical approach. Drinking tons of water & power pumping in between nursing. I took the darn thing with me on errands. I called my doctor & started taking medicine 4 times a day that might help. But nothing was working. It was getting worse.

Finally I broke down & gave him a bottle. He sucked the nasty smelling thing like his ship was going down. I was crushed. I called the doctor again, he said keep nursing but start giving him bottles & that I had done everything I could. I talked to friends, got advice, & agreed. Both he & I needed to sleep & Lincoln McSkinnyArms needed more calories.

I gave him bottles & he kept guzzling them. And I grew to hate that bottle. He now looked adoringly at the bottle the way he used to look at me.
It was hard.
But he was starting to plump up. And sleep. And be happy again.

I once openly nursed Linc, dared people to give me dirty looks. Suddenly I was hiding in the bathroom or the car to feed him a bottle. I just couldn't take the embarrassment of not giving him the best I could.

We are down to nursing once or twice a day. Even that is getting slim. The bottle & I still have a love/hate relationship. He keeps Linc alive & I deal with having to share Lincs affection.

Why I'm posting this & what I'm trying to say is, that nursing is hard. Keep with it. Do your best. Try everything you can think of. But if you can't, if it's just not working, then don't beat yourself up. Don't cry yourself to sleep over the guilt that you're a failure. Baby is going to be just fine. Now make it so you are going to be fine.

So, this week I'm making a goal to, while in public, snuggle Linc up, bust out the bottle & feed him in front of everyone.

I'm going to embrace it.

Stinky bottle, skinny baby, and all.

Snuggle Time

Linc is probably the worst sleeper of all the babies I've birthed. He definitely IS a lot better than other babies I know, but he's been wanting "snuggle-time" to be able to fall asleep lately & I found myself feeling like, "Ugh. I have so much to do. I don't have time for this".

After a couple bitter thoughts, I realized, "You know what? There isn't that much of this snuggle time left. I need to enjoy this while I can. Soak it up."

And so I have been.
Enjoying the time I have with him while he's this little.
This needy.
This snuggly.

And while he fits perfectly right in the crook of my arm.

The Luckiest Mama Alive

Today was one of "those" days. (And, yes, this makes two days in a row).

I wanted to catch up on sleep, so I took a sleeping pill & woke up feeling like a zombie (never doing that again). And, of course, my "zombie day" also coincided the day ALL small Carter children pushed every boundary & rule ever made by Mama.

But despite "those" days, I love these kids. They are fantastic human beings, no thanks to me & all thanks to their innate radness.

Just look at them how could I not forgive all manner of madness?

Here are a couple examples of the totally awesome conversations I get to have all day long:

SYD: "Look, Mama, a school of birds!"
ME: "Yeah, that's way cool. But did you know a group of birds like that is actually called a flock? Different animals have different names for their groups."
SYD: "Really?"
ME: "Yup."
SYD: "Fine then, what's the name for a group of lions?"
ME: "A pride."
SYD: "You're tricking me. That's what the marriage person is."
ME: ...
ME: "Ha! That's a BRIDE."

ROB: "I'm a band-aid monster."
ME: "What's that?"
ROB: "It's a monster all covered in band-aids."
ME: "Eeek! That's totally scary & grossy, Rob!"
ROB: "I know, right? But you know what you'll think is even grosser, Mama?"
ME: "Oh no... what?"
ROB: "A chewed gum monster."
(Note: Chewed gum is like a serious phobia of mine. Dry heaving. Eyes rolling back in my head. Horror. My kids know me well.)

So, here's fingers crossed to not too much or too little sleep & angel children tomorrow.
If neither happens then straight jackets for the whole family is an option.

Highchair Heaven

We bought Lincoln a highchair this weekend &, oh, the joy it brings this sweet baby of mine.

He runs his little car back and forth across its tray.

Then without warning shoves the car in his mouth to suck on it. Then, again, back and forth. Leaving tire tracks of droll everywhere.

He is so completely enthralled and entertained by the simple act of sitting & rolling that car you'd think I'd be able to get something done while he's busy playing.

But I'm so completely enthralled and entertained by watching him, that I sit and laugh soaking up his joy.

Dating Your Spouse

I believe in date nights. Not just a little. Not just a tad. But a lot.

When Scott & I were engaged his roommate pulled Scott aside in a rare moment of un-guy-like emotional honesty & said, "Dude, promise me you guys will always go on dates." His parents had recently divorced after many, many years of marriage. "I think if they had gone on dates & reconnected all the time they wouldn't have gotten divorced."

Scott relayed the story to me & it stuck. It stuck hard. Scott & I have since made dates a priority. Even at our poorest moments, when going to dinner & a movie, let alone paying for a babysitter, wasn't possible, we conned a friend into babysitting & went to get $1 ice cream cones.

This week the kiddos were at "grandma camp" with Scott's parents. We still had Linc but we were determined to go on dates. We went to see Batman one night (note: this was accomplished by pushing back bedtime, tons of rocking, a snuggly blanket over his ears, & sheer luck) & the next night we went to a fancy "dressed-up" dinner (we simple took turns with Linc perched on our laps & indulging in calamari).

I guess what I'm getting at is changing the mindset of, "When our baby is old enough to be babysat." "When we have enough time to go." "When we have money." You just go. Whether it be a $1 ice cream cone, a walk, or even a fancy dinner with a baby in tow, get some uninterrupted time with your significant other. I promise, it will be worth it.

Love is a Battlefield

I've heard people say that when women give birth it's the closest they come to death. I think this is meant to basically freak all-women-across-all-walks-of-life out. Ridiculous & unhelpful.

Upon the birth of my lovely Lincoln Buckley, I have a new theory. I believe that being up-all-night-with-a-non-sleeping-baby, un-fixable crying, & trouble nursing is what brings women nigh unto death.

We're just coming out of that phase (fresh air finally!) And I made it out alive. That's the thing, you know you'll survive it even as you're in the trenches sloshing through it, so you do. You just survive. (with the help of friends, family, & partners. Also superficial novels & chocolate)

It ain't always easy.
It ain't always pretty.
But it's always worth it.

Passing on the Joy of Reading

"Mom will you read me a grown up book?" Sydney asked tonight holding out a pink bound book. We'd been running around all day long & I'd had a "crazy children kind of day" and wanted everyone IN BED as soon as possible, but looking at her holding up one of my very favorite childhood books (a condensed for young readers version) & I couldn't say no.

The first time I read Anne Of Green Gables was my first summer away from my parents. My cousin Katie & I spent a few weeks with my Nana in the small town of Monticello, Utah. There was a tiny library in the middle of town that we could walk to & pick up a pile of books.

After we'd gone to the local craft store, walked around the cemetery, & picked raspberries out of Nana's yard there wasn't much left to do but read. And these books... oh my... I devoured every single page. Then decided that I was meant to marry Gilbert, was determined to visit this lovely mystical place called Canada someday, & I found a kindred spirit in Anne when she said, "People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas you have to use big words to express them."

So, though I was exhausted I sat with Syd, Linc perched on my lap, & cracked it open. I thought maybe Syd was too young to really enjoy or understand the story but we blew through the first chapter & Syd nestled the book mark at the beginning of Chapter 2 smiling to herself. Under her breath she whispered, "I can't wait to read more tomorrow."

And I smiled back saying, "Yup, I know exactly how you feel."

Playing Pirates

I woke up early this morning with a cranky Lincoln. We played quietly in bed as I tried to remain horizontal & sleep a bit more when Syd walked into the room tapping my shoulder.
"Can Linc play?" she asked.
"Of course. Just remember to be careful with him" I reminded, handing him over to her outstretched arms.
She carried him just outside our room into the dining room & set him in his chair. I laid their for a few extra moments of rest listening to them play.
"Okay, I'm the captain!" Sydney declared.
"And I get to wear the eye patch!" Rob piped in.
"Here's my wheel & the map. Look, we have to turn past the bookshelves!" I leaned my head over the side of the bed peaking out the bedroom door. Sydney was pointing off into the the distance like she spotted a far away island.
"Wait! Lincoln needs his bandana." Rob shuffled into his room emerging with skull emblazoned cloth for his little brother. "Okay, Lincoln is a pirate now. Let's go get that treasure!"

I snuck out of bed a few minutes later listening to my three children playing together to find this:

Impromptu pirate ship made & the Carter siblings sail away.

Playing & Snacking

There are days (especially lately) that we are SO BUSY its hard to make time to just sit & be together. We have had to make a special effort every day to have a nice long chunk of time without phones, computers, or TV.

One of our favorite activities are boardgames. It's hard to find games that are interesting enough to hold everyone's attention (Candyland just ain't doing it for me anymore) but Monopoly Junior is one we all love.

And to go along with your awesome family hang out time, try out one of our new favorite snacks, homemade Raw Trailmix:

raw sunflower seeds (we get our raw seeds from WinCo's bulk section)
raw pumpkin seeds
cacao nibs (Goodearth at the cacao in nibs)

dried bananas

Yeah, I know it's not exactly a recipe or anything but this is our personal favorite "blend". Basically you can put whatever you'd like in there & it would be tasty!

Let's be honest a combo of tasty snacks & your favorite people just makes life better.

Playing Jamba Juice

The kids wanted to go to Jamba Juice the other day, but we already had everything to make them, so I told them we'd play Jamba Juice when we got home.

I made up a little sign with the different fruits they could pick to put in their juice:

Used Syd's cash register (that she got for her birthday), took their orders, & was paid with play money:

Then I went back made their drinks & presented the creation to them:

It was a blast for everyone involved. But it does mean that they ask to play Jamba Juice about every 5 seconds.

Bike

I never really learned to ride a bike. 1) with all my ear issues my balance is basically non-existent, 2) we lived in apartments a fair bit so it wasn't easy to ride bikes, 3) I was never really all that interested it, & 4) I was hit by a car when I was little & it pretty much terrified me of cars. To this day.

But Syd is getting up there & hasn't had a bike. All the kids in our neighborhood have bikes & ride them all the time. Scott stepped up & said, "It's time". He also reminded me NOT to pass on my personal neurosis to our children. Fair point.

So, I bit the bullet at literally 11 pm the night before her birthday party & bought a bike.

She is an incredibly cautious child. A to-the-letter rule follower. I have a feeling the breaks will give out before Syd ever does anything remotely dangerous on that bike.

I'm just holding my breath & trying to give her a little leash- something that I'm terrible at.

Now, I just need to worry/be terrified for when my little totally-UN-cautious wild man is ready to learn. It's going to be quite a sight.

P.S. Rob is riding his tiny vintage tricycle that Scott & I restored for his 2nd birthday. He towers over it now.