When Scott & I were engaged his roommate pulled Scott aside in a rare moment of un-guy-like emotional honesty & said, "Dude, promise me you guys will always go on dates." His parents had recently divorced after many, many years of marriage. "I think if they had gone on dates & reconnected all the time they wouldn't have gotten divorced."
Scott relayed the story to me & it stuck. It stuck hard. Scott & I have since made dates a priority. Even at our poorest moments, when going to dinner & a movie, let alone paying for a babysitter, wasn't possible, we conned a friend into babysitting & went to get $1 ice cream cones.
This week the kiddos were at "grandma camp" with Scott's parents. We still had Linc but we were determined to go on dates. We went to see Batman one night (note: this was accomplished by pushing back bedtime, tons of rocking, a snuggly blanket over his ears, & sheer luck) & the next night we went to a fancy "dressed-up" dinner (we simple took turns with Linc perched on our laps & indulging in calamari).
I guess what I'm getting at is changing the mindset of, "When our baby is old enough to be babysat." "When we have enough time to go." "When we have money." You just go. Whether it be a $1 ice cream cone, a walk, or even a fancy dinner with a baby in tow, get some uninterrupted time with your significant other. I promise, it will be worth it.
6 comments:
we resumed date nights as soon as I felt good enough to leave the house after having S.
even if it's quick, it's good to have some alone time without the babes.
love this.
Really must go out with my man more, we have even done at home dates too. I think Scott's friend was right, my parents never went out on their own and they divorced too.
This is a good wake-up call for all of us couples. I believe in dates. We can get lazy about them the longer we are married. Mustn't do that. It is worth the effort.
This is something have had to learn. I used to have a really hard time leaving my kids with someone else. My excuses were weak on logic, but I felt like I was abandoning them, I felt like I was shoving my responsibility on someone else...but when it came right down to it, I was making them a higher priority than my spouse. So now I just do it - even when someone sometimes has to deal with my crying baby, or I feel bad for using my parents, I do it, so that Chad knows that he is a priority in my life. And it is nice!
great reminder. it's a challenge to have a spouse that doesn't want to go out EVER, but i find ways to spend a few minutes with him, even if it's at home sometimes. no excuses, right?
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