Friday, September 23, 2011

Advice?


11 week ultra sound picture

Does anyone have advice on getting the kiddos excited/not nervous/not jealous of a new baby?

Syd was so little when Rob was born we didn't really have to deal with it. Already we've had a couple "Will you still love me when we have the baby?" & "Daddy's gonna love the baby more than me?"

17 comments:

Emma (my RED wellies) said...

When I was little (6) my mum had my little sister and she let me chose some babygro's before the baby was born and let me choose a teddy for her too.
She also used to tell us that although she would need to tend to the baby that I was always her grown up one and that it would be more fun if I could help look after the baby. So I used to get to pass her nappies, toys. the odd peice of clothes too.
Another thing I got to help with was making one of those baby's first year books, i also got to help fill it in...
xx

Ashley said...

Be honest with them - tell them the baby IS going to take a LOT of your time and things are going to be really different for a while. But they get to be big siblings and help you and that is what being a part of a family is all about. Things have been hard for Rae this time around because so much is expected of her - but i remind her that she got to be my very first baby and got to have me all to herself for a while. I also like to talk about all the things that make big kids so cool -how much fun it is to be able to talk to them and joke with them - things I can't do with the baby. But yeah, it will be tough the first couple of months, so just prepare them for that but let them know it'll still be really exciting.

Ashley said...

Oh, and it is so exciting for my kids every time Claire meets a new milestone. They just get a kick out of her smiling, rolling, trying to crawl, etc.

Jasmine Hall said...

About 2 months before Beth was born, I brought out a cabbage patch doll and Ben and I practiced being nice to the baby and teaching him to get a blanket for her and things. Granted he is a lot younger than your kids, but maybe teach them how to hold a bottle or hold the baby to get them excited.
Another thing that helped was having a moment with Ben where is was just Ben and I. Didnt work if it was David, had to be me. I would put him to bed without the baby in the room or I would do something with just him. That way he didnt get jealous.

Malea said...

These other peeps have good advice. If I had any experience, I'd agree!

Jennie said...

We read every big sister/new baby picture book we could get our hands on just to get the idea that this is definitely a big change but it's going to be a good one floating in her mind. Geraldine's Baby Brother, Little Brown Bear and the Bundle of Joy, and Angelina's Baby Sister were hits that I remember but lots of public libraries can provide you with a list of books on this topic. Congrats and good luck!

Smithy said...

i think the kids are already super excited about the baby and the biggest issue will be preparing them for your lack of attention once baby comes - good luck with that!

Kristie said...

We did this with J before we had A. I started not doing as much, if anything for her. I made Adam do it all. And J got used to mom being busy with baby stuff, so she started asking Dad to do stuff for her.
I was a lot older when my mom had some of my younger siblings, and all I remember was being the helper. And how being the helper was so nice for mom. We would sit and rock the baby, or bring her stuff she needed.
Good luck! The kids will adjust, and it will take time, and probably tantrums, but it will be so worth it!

Sarah said...

I know this is some what superficial and not long lasting but my grandmother had a tradition I like. When a new baby came home from the hospital they would "bring" gifts for the other children. I think it starts things off on a nice note at least :)

James said...

We learned of a great tradition where the baby brings a present for the older siblings. Between that and a coworker (sociologist) who made a point of giving some gifts to Elizabeth and Amelia when Jeb was born, it helped some with them accepting the new baby.

Buck Jeppson said...

All great ideas. I especially like the idea of bringing gifts to the older kids. I remember when one of my brothers was born and I was 4. Kids couldn't go into the hospital back then, so Mom tossed some candy out the window. The immediate impression was that new babies brought positive things. I think we'll send the kids gifts with baby gift.

Casey said...

we always reminded the older kids that this was their baby too, not just ours. if they want to help, let them. :)

Variety said...

I've done different things and seen my mom do different things, but I think the most important thing to keep in mind is to help everyone see they have a place in the family. Whether you tell them (if they would understand) that your family is growing so you'll all have MORE people to love and MORE people to love them. Or whether you have them help get ready for baby (picking out clothes, cleaning the crib, etc) so they feel a part of it and know they are needed.

Try different little things like having them write a "big brother"/"big sister" letter to the new baby (put in the baby book) or have them pick out a gift for the baby (alternately, have "baby" bring home a small gift for each sibling when he/she comes home from the hospital), or practicing taking care of a baby (doll?), even talking about how much they can teach the new sibling.

Of course, each child is different, and while one might be helped by feeling needed, another might be more hurt by that. So, play it by ear, and remember the big picture of helping each of them find the thing that makes them excited about the new baby.

Esther Noelle said...

Wow what great advice everyone has!!! Looks like the kids are excited! Just that one thing I think I said before - having some kind of special set of toys or books that you pull down only when you're nursing or something so they have something to look forward to while they're not getting your attention.

Em and Russ said...

I didn't read all the suggestions yet, and I'm not "experienced", but I wonder if it would help to give the baby a name now so the kids can know that the baby has an identity? Just a thought. I know you weren't planning on an ultra sound, but maybe you should?

Also, you should be watching Modern Family if you're not. Lilly is having trouble with a new baby brother coming into the family. LOL!

Russ

Christie said...

I remember as a 5 year old my aunt Di coming to stay with us and she was doing all these things to "prepare" me for the new baby...and being really puzzled as it hadn't occurred to me that I needed any preparing. I can remember myself thinking she seemed way too worked up about it, lol. Of course that was the fourth child and I was pretty used to the idea by then...sorry, Katie!

hotpants™ said...

I think you two already do a great job of having special time with each child and doing activities with both of them together. I'm sure they'll find out soon enough that there's enough love to go around. :)