Saturday, September 22, 2012
Now, I have two secrets for you:
A. It's going to be totally awesome.
B. People will hate you. Openly.
That being said, I will now dispense of my TOP 10 LIST HOW TO NOT FIND OUT WHAT YOU'RE HAVING:
1. Be prepared to get flack. (I make this #1 because I was wholly unprepared for it.) When I would tell people that we decided not to find out, it was as if any decision about my reproduction was up for discussion. I actually had a friend say it was "selfish" to not find out what we were having & I had a lot of "that's SO annoying". Also be prepared for a fair bit of defensiveness from people who did find out what they are having. Neither decision is right or wrong. It just is. But it's apparently a more passionate issue for people than I had thought.
2. Make the decision &stick to it. If you change your mind, that's totally awesome. Don't let people make you feel lame if you change your mind. But like I said, you will likely get some flack so decide & stick by it through the dissension that may come.
3. Remind the ultrasound tech that you don't want to know. This is obvious but also tell them to have you turn away when they gets close to the "baby bits" area. Scott spotted the gender on both babies the second our tech got even near. Most people have their one 20 week ultrasound & if that is you than you're probably fine. I had to have 2-3 ultrasounds a week for the last couple months of my pregnancy & every time I was TERRIFIED they'd look & then let it slip.
4. Be prepared to be unprepared. Let's be honest, there are some cute gender neutral clothes, but there aren't tons out there. So, get a couple get-through-the-first-couple-weeks clothes (white onesies, grey stripes, yellow booties, etc) & then go shopping when you're up for it. We also didn't prepare a nursery until after Linc was born (or you know, still haven't 7 months later!).
5. Be ready for a boy or a girl. I didn't buy many clothes (I had some boy & some girl clothes left over from Syd & Rob) but to bring my baby home I had a cute all white sleepy and one blue hat & one pink hat so I'd be ready for either one. We also had a list with 2-3 boy & girl names. Cover all your bases for both genders.
6. Get ready for the nay-sayers to come around. Once it was time for me to actually be in labor everyone was ecstatic, dying to find out what the baby was. The people who were "anti" came through excited in the end. Most people said the anticipation of finding out what it was was really fun for them too. Even the nurses where excited. One nurse was SO upset that she was off shift & I hadn't given birth yet so she wouldn't be there to find out what I was having.
7. Actually finding out is unforgettable. It was intense & exciting, like every birth is, but having Scott grab & hold the baby to announce to the whole room that we had a boy was just so much anticipation, tinged with exhaustion, tied up with finally knowing. It was a veritable concoction of awesomeness that I'll never forget.
8. You might have a hard time wrapping your mind around your babies gender. I called Lincoln "BABY" &"IT" for months after giving birth. I was so used to not knowing what I was having it took a while to wrap my mind around the concept that he was a "he". When Scott announced it was a boy I kept saying, "A boy? A boy? A boy?" Like a crazy person. Because, frankly, I'd just given birth so I was a crazy person.
9. Lastly, have fun with it. Take a poll. Take bets. Have a gender neutral baby shower. Have your other kiddos, if you have any, draw pictures/guess about what the baby might be. Embrace it! Rock it!
10. If we have another one I'd do it 100% again.
AND GOOD LUCK!
Has anyone else not found out?
Any advice for people thinking about it?
And if you're a nay-sayer it's cool, you can leave your opinion too.
Livie's not a hater either way.